


heal the scars (old lies they die harder)

by OsleyaKomWonkru



Series: We Could Be Beautiful Without Our War Paint [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everything is Different, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Reunions, Gen, Kid Fic, Kidnapping, Lincoln Lives, Past Character Death, Reconciliation, Remember Everything is Different, See notes for who, hard questions, mentions of cannibalism, shallow valley, the dark year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27914350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OsleyaKomWonkru/pseuds/OsleyaKomWonkru
Summary: Octavia and Lincoln believed their eldest daughter Aurora to be dead, claimed by the river nine years ago. So when their friend and midwife Niylah appears at their door one night to tell them that Aurora had been brought to the medical centre, alive and well, they discover she had been kidnapped on that fateful day instead.As Octavia comes face to face with her daughter’s kidnapper, and the lies her daughter was raised on, she is forced to face her past asJovakepain a way she never expected to be able to make her family whole again.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Echo, Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: We Could Be Beautiful Without Our War Paint [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2043994
Kudos: 10
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	heal the scars (old lies they die harder)

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the third part in a 3-part series of a Lincoln Lives canon-divergent 'verse, written for @munequita as a promptfill for the [The 100 Fic for Black Lives Matter Initiative](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co).
> 
> The prompt here was for Octavia and Lincoln to have had a daughter who was kidnapped at a young age, who they are reunited with as a preteen, and it is not a happy reunion at first and there are conflicts to be had.
> 
> Since this story is set in this 'verse's established canon, there was ample potential conflict to be had - thus why this story is so much longer than the other two in this series.
> 
> Remember that this is a 'verse where everything is different from canon, because Lincoln lives - this means some characters that are alive in canon are not in this 'verse (and another dies differently) and those deaths are mentioned in this fic (though the biggest one does not take place in the text itself). If you want to know who is dead and how, please skip to end notes where I'll put the spoilers.
> 
> Trigedasleng:
> 
> Ai lukot - My friend  
> Jovakepa - Courage-Keeper  
> Heda - Commander  
> Newana - Immortal Ones  
> Givnes - Sacrifice  
> Ai niron - My love  
> Kom stegeda - Of the village  
> Yiron kom Givnes - Year of Sacrifice  
> Mochof - Thank you  
> Louwoda Kliron - Shallow Valley
> 
> Longer bits of Trigedasleng are translated inline.

Of all of the people to turn her world upside down, Octavia had not expected it to be Niylah.

It had been a normal evening in Octavia and Lincoln’s home. They had just finished eating dinner. Astraea was washing the dishes, while Lincoln and Luna watched their new television, enraptured by the performance that had been recorded on the prisoners’ side of the valley a few weeks earlier. Octavia had just finished nursing her young son Apollon, putting him to sleep in the living room cradle, when a furtive knock sounded on their back door.

“It’s okay, I’ll get it.” Octavia said, resting a hand on Lincoln’s shoulder, so that he didn’t need to get up and disturb Luna, who had fallen asleep in his lap.

Octavia went through their bedroom to get to the back door, and was surprised to find her old friend Niylah standing there.

“Niylah?” Octavia asked. “What -”

“I’ll explain in a minute.” Niylah said, looking around quickly. “Is anyone else here?”

“Lincoln and the kids, what -”

“Get him. Now.”

“Okay…”

Octavia directed Niylah to the bedroom, and moved back to the main living area of their home, looking for Lincoln.

“Astraea, can you stop the dishes for a minute and look after your brother?” She called out. “Lincoln, Niylah needs to see us.”

Lincoln stood up carefully, moving a sleeping Luna to a nearby couch as Astraea came over to rock the cradle and keep an eye on Apollon. Lincoln followed Octavia through to the bedroom, where Niylah was pacing nervously.

“Okay, he’s here. What is it, Niylah? What’s got you so worried that you’re knocking at our back door so late?”

“Aurora. She’s alive.”

Octavia thought she was about to faint, and Lincoln stepped up behind her and gripped her shoulders tightly, keeping her standing, though from the sound of his breathing, she could tell he was stunned by the news too.

“Wh - wha - how? What happened? How do you know?”

“Medical centre this afternoon.” Niylah was a nurse and midwife in the medical centre, helping Abby and Jackson treat any resident of the valley that needed their help. Niylah had been the one to deliver all four of Octavia’s children, and was now standing here saying that her eldest was somehow, impossibly, still alive.

“What do you mean? It’s been - it’s been nine years since Aurora died in the river.”

Niylah shook her head. “I know we believed her lost to the river, because she’d run off while you were trying to calm Astraea, but you know we never found a body. Because there wasn’t one. She was kidnapped, _ai lukot._ Someone took her. And they just brought her to the medical centre today.”

“How do you know it is her?”

“I helped you bring her into this world. I’d recognize that birthmark on her ankle anywhere. The woman who brought her in, who claims to be her mother, she also seemed very anxious and nervous to be there. I think she lives in one of the outlying villages, I haven’t seen her in years. Not since the bunker.”

“Niylah, if this woman kidnapped our daughter, that’s serious.” Lincoln said.

“I know. That’s why I came here first.”

“You know I’m not _Jovakepa_ anymore.” Octavia warned her. “I haven’t been for three years."

“You will always be _Jovakepa, ai lukot._ Old habits die hard.” Niylah said fondly. “But she’s your child. We can go to _Heda_ together.”

“Wait - medical centre. What’s wrong with her? It must be serious for her kidnapper to have brought her in.”

“Nothing too terrible. She broke her leg. A few weeks in a cast and she will be just fine. That’s how I saw the birthmark.”

Octavia nodded. “Okay, Lincoln, take the kids to Bellamy’s. I hate to drop another infant on Echo, but I’m sure they’ll understand. Tell them to say nothing. Meet us at Madi’s.”

Lincoln nodded, pressing a kiss to Octavia’s forehead and disappearing through to the living area. Octavia slipped a sweater on and followed Niylah out the back door, winding their way through the forest to Madi’s home, next door to the orphanage in the centre of town, and across the way from the medical centre - thus the back way. The House of _Heda_ had been renovated from the old town hall, establishing private quarters for Madi on the second floor, while the first floor had guards’ quarters and the reception room.

Octavia knocked on the door softly, having seen lights on within, knowing that meant that Madi should still be awake.

Miller pulled the door open a minute later, looking at them in confusion. “Octavia? What’s going on?”

“Something serious.” Octavia looked at Niylah. “Sorry for coming over so late, but -”

“You don’t have to explain to me.” Miller said. “Come in, make yourselves comfortable. I’ll go get Madi.”

Miller stuck his head into the guards’ apartment on his way. “Jax, Octavia and Niylah are here. Get them some tea?”

Octavia and Niylah made themselves comfortable on the couches in the reception area, and shortly after Jackson brought out some mugs with tea.

“Everything all right, Niylah?” Jackson asked. “I noticed you were… unsettled at the end of your shift.”

“That’s what brings us here.” Niylah said. “We’ll explain when Madi comes down.”

“This doesn’t sound like a social call.” Madi said, coming down the stairs, Miller trailing behind her.

“It isn’t, _Heda.”_ Octavia said, as she rose to her feet to bow her head.

“With us it is just Madi and Octavia, like you always told me, _Jovakepa.”_ Madi smiled, coming up to her to give her a hug. “Sit, tell me what’s going on.”

Madi took a seat across from the women, Jackson and Miller hovering on the periphery, sensing they may be needed.

“Aurora has been found.” Niylah said. “Octavia’s first daughter.”

“I know who Aurora is.” Madi said, voice clipped. “I was there the day she disappeared. I remember it vividly. I always felt like it was my fault. I should have been watching over her, but Astraea was so upset that -”

“Don’t blame yourself, Madi.” Octavia said, reaching out a hand to calm the younger woman. “We were both there that day. I know we’ve both carried the pain of it with us. But now it can stop. She’s alive.”

“How do you know?” Madi turned to Niylah. “You work in the medical centre, I’m guessing it is involved somehow?”

“Yes, _Heda.”_ Niylah said. “A girl, about eleven years old, was brought in with a broken leg. The woman who brought her in claimed to be her mother, calling the child Mora. But she was very anxious, not happy to be there, seems like she doesn’t come to this central village all that often. While I was setting the child’s leg in the cast, I saw the birthmark on her ankle. I was there the day Aurora was born, _Heda._ I delivered her, I saw that birthmark before anyone else did. I’d recognize it anywhere.”

“Kidnapping is a serious charge. You know we’ll need to let the woman respond and explain herself.”

“We know. But this must be done quickly, lest the woman try to take the child and run again.”

Madi closed her eyes for a moment, Octavia recognizing it for what it was - consulting with the Flame. She nodded once, then opened her eyes again, turning to the men.

“Go to the medical centre. Niylah, Jackson, move the girl and her guardian to a private room with no other exits. Miller, you stand guard, make sure they don’t leave. The girl will have been through enough today, she needs to be allowed to rest. Don’t do anything that would arouse suspicions. At dawn, bring the woman to meet with us here, while Niylah, you stay with the girl.”

“What about you tonight, _Heda?”_ Miller asked.

“I don’t trust anyone else with this. It has to be you. Octavia will stay with me.”

“Lincoln is also on his way, he’s just taking the kids to Bellamy’s.”

Madi nodded. “I’ll be fine, Miller. Go. Quickly.”

“Wait.” Jackson said. “If we want to have indisputable evidence that the child in the medical centre is Octavia’s, we should do a test. It isn’t difficult, I just need to swab your cheek, and I’ll compare it to a sample from the child.”

“Do it. Do you have a swab here?”

“I should in my kit in our quarters. Give me a minute.”

Jackson returned with the swab, taking a sample from Octavia, and then followed Miller out the door. Niylah squeezed Octavia’s hand, and left through the front door of the hall after the men. 

“What counsel do you give, Octavia?” Madi asked. “I’m aware you’re not impartial, but…”

“I’m not impartial, you’re right.” Octavia said. “She is my child. She’s been missing for nine years, and - and I’m not sure what to do with that. I can’t imagine why anyone would take a child from their mother, especially when if they wanted to bring a child into their family but couldn’t have one themselves, they could speak to Gaia, and take in one of the orphans.”

“I thought of that as well.” Madi said. “Which brought me to an even more disturbing thought.”

Octavia’s heart plummeted as she realized the implications. “It was deliberate. Not a woman so desperate for a child she stole one, but as a deliberate strike against me. Taking my child, specifically, for her own. To make me suffer that loss.”

“Yes.” Madi said. “That seems the most likely option. But our people revere you, why would they do that?”

“It would be naive to believe that they all do. I’m sure some of them harbour all sorts of hidden hurts and pains from the years we went through in the bunker, even if they’ve never spoken of them.”

“We must hear what that hurt is. Justice is about reconciliation, not vengeance. That’s what you taught me. Is that still your counsel now?”

“It has to be. Otherwise it risks everything we’ve built.” Octavia took in a long shuddering breath, ready to sob out her tears when a knock sounded on the back door.

“It’s probably Lincoln, but I’ll get it anyway.” Octavia said, reigning in her emotions for the moment.

It was Lincoln. Octavia let him in without a word, and after he was settled next to her on the couch, she let her emotions loose, sobbing into his chest as he held her, his eyes meeting Madi’s.

“Do you know anyone who would want to hurt your family like this?” Madi asked. “Perhaps when you see her you’ll know, but -”

“No one comes to mind specifically.” Lincoln said, hand rubbing circles on Octavia’s back as he immediately realized the implications that Octavia had missed. “But if I had to guess, most likely it would be any family members of the _Newana,_ who didn’t believe in their _givnes,_ who thought it should always be someone else, not anyone of their circle, and they… they blamed it on her. On us.”

Madi nodded. “That seems most likely.”

They sat in silence for some time. Lincoln held Octavia, letting her continue to cry. Madi sipped her tea, lost in thought.

The front door flew open, and they all straightened up to attention as Jackson strode through the door, flinging it shut behind him.

“It’s a match.” Jackson confirmed. “I ran the test, checking Octavia’s sample against the girl’s. Niylah was right. She is your daughter.”

Octavia took a long and deep breath, closing her eyes, letting her emotions settle, wiping her tears away. 

It was official now. Not just a wild hope, but true.

When she opened her eyes again, it was an expression Madi recognized well - this was Octavia as _Jovakepa,_ the warrior, the leader, the judge. There was steel in her gaze rather than softness.

“Thank you, Jackson.” Octavia said. “Now we wait for morning.”

Jackson returned to his and Miller’s quarters, and Madi went upstairs to her own, leaving Lincoln and Octavia on the couch together.

“She won’t even recognize us.” Octavia said softly, her strong facade crumbling again as she traced patterns on Lincoln’s chest. “Who knows what kind of stories that woman has told her about us. She must have, right? To complete her revenge? To not only take our child, but poison her against us?”

“Anything done can be undone.” Lincoln whispered, fingers running through Octavia’s hair. “We thought we had lost her forever, but we haven’t. We have this second chance to have our family be whole again.”

“But what punishment can we ask for? We cannot ask for the highest forms of vengeance, going back to the old ways. We’ve built a new world, a new system of justice, but this may yet be the time that is most tested.”

“Let’s not dwell on that now. Rest, _ai niron._ When morning comes we will let the woman speak for herself and then Madi will judge what may be appropriate.”

* * *

Octavia hadn’t been able to sleep.

She’d spent the night curled up on the couch, head in Lincoln’s lap, and while it seemed as if he’d been able to doze - if the weight of his reassuring hand on her shoulder was any indication - but sleep didn’t come for her.

She sat up as the light began to stream in through the windows, when she heard Madi stirring in the loft above. Lincoln also started awake as Octavia moved, and when he remembered where they were, he rested his forehead against hers, steeling them for the difficult morning to come.

Madi came down the stairs, dressed in the Commander’s garb. Jackson brought out breakfast for them all, and let Octavia and Lincoln use their facilities to freshen up. No one had much of an appetite, but they ate without complaint.

“I need to go to the medical centre now.” Jackson said, clearing away the dishes. “Shall I send Miller here with the woman?”

“No. I’ll come with you, and then we will bring her here.” Madi said. “She needs to know this is on the order of the Commander, and we’ll need you to present the DNA evidence. That shouldn’t take long, and then you can return to your duties.” Madi clasped arms with Octavia. “We’ll see justice done. I promise. Just wait here.”

Octavia nodded, and watched as Madi and Jackson departed from the building, pacing nervously in front of the Commander’s throne until Lincoln stilled her.

“Madi is right.” Lincoln said. “Justice will be done. I’m sure the Flame has been whispering to her all night, suggesting options, evaluating scenarios, considering what the best resolution will be.”

“I know. I just… I never expected to be in this position. I never expected an opportunity to have Aurora back, I never expected any of this.”

“None of us did. But it’s here. We need to trust in it.”

Lincoln pulled her into a comforting hug, kissing the top of her head, holding her close until they heard movement outside the doors, and then straightened up, standing to one side of the throne, ready for the formalities.

Madi came in the door first, striding confidently through the reception space, taking a seat on the throne. Jackson followed her, coming to stand next to Octavia and Lincoln. Last came Miller, bringing along the woman who had kidnapped their child.

Octavia recognized her at once.

_Arabel kom Trikru._ Octavia knew the names and faces and former clans of all of the members of Wonkru - both those who still lived, and those who had died.

Arabel’s husband Madsen had been the first of the _Newana._

Madi got to her feet, closing her eyes and placing her hands over her heart, to speak the Wonkru benediction. Everyone else did the same, including Arabel, as Octavia observed before she closed her own eyes.

_“Den givnes kom Newana, den uf kom Jovakepa, oso kik raun. Gon koma kom Newana, gon chilnes kom Jovakepa, oso hod in. Omon gon oson.” (Because of the sacrifice of the Immortal Ones, because of the strength of the Courage-Keeper, we live. By the honour of the Immortal Ones, by the peace of the Courage-Keeper, we love. All of me for all of us.)_

Prayer completed, they all opened their eyes again, and Madi sat back down on her throne.

“Arabel _kom stegeda Wodsto,_ formerly of the clan Trikru, you stand accused of the kidnapping of Aurora _kom stegeda Vero,_ daughter of _Jovakepa_ Octavia Blake and Lincoln, also formerly of clan Trikru. How do you plead?”

_“Heda,_ I -” She didn’t look at Octavia or Lincoln at all, keeping her focus on Madi.

“How do you plead?” Madi demanded.

“Not guilty, _Heda._ Please.”

“Dr Jackson, please present the evidence against her.”

“There are two pieces of evidence against Arabel. The first was observed by my colleague Niylah _kom stegeda Vero,_ formerly of the clans Trikru and Azgeda. Niylah attended the birth of Aurora, and at that time observed a unique birthmark on the child’s ankle. She observed this same birthmark on the child that Arabel brought to the medical centre yesterday. The second more damning piece of evidence is DNA.”

_“Heda,_ please, what is DNA?” Arabel asked.

“Genetic material that can prove relationships.”

“Last night, after Niylah voiced her suspicions, I took a sample both from Octavia and from the child in the medical centre.” Jackson said. “I compared them, and the evidence is conclusive - the child in the medical centre is Octavia’s child.”

Madi fixed Arabel with a look. “Do you care to revise your plea?”

Arabel straightened her spine and her more fearful demeanour melted away, a cool look directed at Madi now. “It seems like you’ve already made up your mind.”

“You still have the opportunity to speak in your defense.”

“What is it that I could say that could sway your ruling?”

“You cannot sway my ruling. The evidence is clear and you are guilty. But what your words can do is sway my sentence. I want to know why you did it. Why you kidnapped Aurora _kom stegeda Vero._ Please speak.”

“What is there that I can say?” Arabel snarled. “She -” She jabbed a finger in Octavia’s direction. “- took away my opportunity to have children. So I evened the score.”

“Did _Jovakepa_ sterilize you, that is, make it such that you are unable to bear children?”

“No.”

“Then how did she take away your opportunity to have children? Did she steal your child?”

“No.”

“Then what did she do?”

“She took my husband. In the bunker. She offered herself to our people at the start of the _Yiron kom Givnes,_ but my husband laid down his life in her stead. He didn’t talk to me about it, he didn’t ask me my thoughts - he just did it without a second thought.”

“His sacrifice is why we are all standing here today.” Madi reminded her. “Your husband is exalted among our people. He is one of the _Newana_ who we honour each day through the lives we live.”

“Don’t speak as if you know the world we lived through.” Arabel spat at Madi, and Miller stepped in to move her further back from the throne. “You know nothing. You weren’t there. You have only heard what _she_ tells you. You’re not impartial in these matters, _Heda.”_

“I have heard many stories of what our people lived through. Not only from _Jovakepa,_ but from many in our community. There is not a family among us that hasn’t been touched by the _Yiron kom Givnes._ Who doesn’t have someone they loved among the _Newana,_ the Immortal Ones whose spirits live on forever, who sacrificed their mortal lives so that others could live.

“You are correct that I am not impartial, but it is not because of what I know of the _Yiron kom Givnes_ and who I learned it from. I am not impartial because I was there that day when you took Aurora. I was helping _Jovakepa_ with her children at that time, did you know that? I was still a child myself, but I believed it to be my fault that she was gone.

“Nine years, two months and eleven days. That’s how long it has been since Aurora was taken from her family.”

_“I_ am Mora’s family. I raised her. I fed her. I taught her. You of all people know that blood is not belonging, _Heda.”_

“You are correct. But a family is formed by consent, not theft. Before I give my ruling, I will let Octavia and Lincoln speak their piece.”

_“Mochof, Heda.”_ Octavia said with a nod to Madi, stepping forward to address Arabel. She approached the other woman, who seemed nonplussed by her closeness, but Miller still hovered behind her in case there was a need to intervene.

Octavia observed Arabel closely before she spoke, noting the pride and the sorrow in her bearing, the fire in her gaze. “I’m sorry that Madsen did not involve you in his decision to be the first of the _Newana.”_

“Don’t you dare say his name!”

“I say his name every day, as I have each day for the past sixteen years. Each day I remember those who gave their lives so that we could live.”

“So that you could live, you mean.” Arabel sneered at her. “You never intended on giving up your own life so that your people could live. The goal was always to get other volunteers.”

“Your husband was the one who told me I had to live. He was the one who told me that our people would be fed by my flesh for a day, but that we needed longer than a day to be able to survive. He was the one who told me that each day I needed to step into that ring and offer myself to my people. But that my flesh should be their last hope, not their first. Because if there was no one else to offer themselves to our people, then the last of that hope lay with me.”

Octavia paused for a moment, taking a long and deep breath. Arabel’s expression had changed, but now instead of anger or spite, her look was merely blank. Octavia wasn’t sure what she was thinking.

“You live in Wodsto. That’s pretty far from here. I don’t recall you coming to the dedication three years ago. Did you?”

“Dedication?”

“For the Shrine of the _Newana._ We established it to serve as a permanent memorial to those who gave their lives for us. It is inscribed with the names of all of those who died during the _Yiron kom Givnes,_ your husband included. The eternal flame within burns day and night, honouring their memory. It is a place for all of us to remember them, and so that our descendants will know our story generations into the future.

“They will know a world of peace and plenty, because the _Newana_ made that possible. Their sacrifice is why we are here, all of us. You feel robbed of children because your husband died, but it is because of him that all of Wonkru’s children are alive today.”

Octavia stepped back from Arabel, going back to stand next to Lincoln. Arabel was silent, and Madi looked over to Lincoln.

“Is there anything you would like to say, Lincoln?” She asked.

“Only that I wish for Arabel to let go of the anger in her heart and embrace the healing power of this better world. Your husband was a friend of mine, Arabel. He would not want you to dishonour his memory like this.”

“Arabel _kom stegeda Wodsto,_ are you ready to hear your sentence?”

Arabel sighed, her expression now sad more than anything, but she squared her shoulders and looked up at Madi. “Do it. Cast me out, rob me of my child, it doesn’t matter anymore. My life is over.”

“I’m doing the opposite. I’m giving you a new life.” Madi said. “You deprived Aurora of her rightful parents for nine years, two months and eleven days. I could sentence you to imprisonment, or banishment, or anything of that nature for this crime. But I will not. Instead, you will stay here in Vero. You will serve with the novitiates in the Shrine of the _Newana,_ caring for the shrine and receiving visitors and supplicants, for nine years, two months and eleven days.

“Aurora will also remain here in Vero. She will first live here with me, as she gets to know her parents. Once they’ve had the opportunity to get properly reacquainted, she will return to live with them. Should she wish to come see you at the shrine, Arabel, she will not be prohibited from doing so, but you will not call on her unless called upon. Are we clear?”

“Yes, _Heda.”_

“Good. Now you and I, along with Octavia and Lincoln, will go to the medical centre, so that you can say goodbye for now to Aurora, and so that Octavia and Lincoln can meet her. Then Octavia will take you to the Shrine of the _Newana._ Gaia is there today with the novitiates, and she will then instruct you in your duties.”

Madi got to her feet, and the company departed the hall for the medical centre, a short trip across the square which had passers-by looking curiously at them. It was rare that there was such ceremony, but it was clear to everyone that this was official business, as Madi led the way in full Commander garb, followed by Octavia and Lincoln, and Arabel, Miller and Jackson bringing up the rear.

Once they arrived at Aurora’s room, Madi knocked on the door, and Niylah admitted them. Octavia clung tightly to Lincoln’s hand, both nervous at the prospect of meeting their daughter after nine years apart.

Octavia’s first glimpse of her daughter’s face took her back decades - she was reminded of herself at that age, though Aurora had her father’s dark eyes and complexion.

“Mom, who are all of these people?” Aurora asked, but her gaze was on Arabel, not on Octavia.

She must not have been told yet.

Arabel looked between Madi and Octavia, and Madi nodded. Arabel sighed and approached the bed. 

“My darling… this is going to be hard to hear, but… but nine years ago, I did a very bad thing. Something that I should not have done, even though it gave me a great gift.”

“What’s that? What gift?”

“You.”

“I… I don’t understand.”

“I did not give birth to you. I… I stole you from your parents. I watched them one day when they were having a picnic by the river. They had another child, and I scared that child to distract them from you and I snatched you away for my own. It was wrong of me, I know that now.”

“Are they - is that - is that _them?”_ Aurora pointed at Octavia and Lincoln, who stepped forward.

“Yes.”

“I’ve seen images of her. Pictures, movies. That’s _Jovakepa.”_ Octavia’s heart dropped into her stomach as she heard her daughter spit out her title as if it offended her. “After everything you taught me about her, you’re saying _Jovakepa_ is my _mother?”_

“Her name is Octavia. And yes. I - I was angry. I know what I told you -”

“You told me that she killed my father.”

“She did take my husband’s life. And the lives of many others. But not for pleasure, it was for the survival of our people. I know there’s so much I haven’t told you, that I didn’t teach you, because - because I wanted you to be angry too. But that dishonours my husband’s memory. It is time you learn the real story, and get to know your parents. Now I must serve my time for the wrong I committed against them, and I must go to the Shrine of the _Newana.”_

“The _Newana?_ I’ve heard whispers, but no one in Wodsto talks about who they really are.”

“You will learn. My husband is one of them. We must honour their memory properly. While _Jovakepa_ and I go to the Shrine, _Heda_ and your father Lincoln will begin to give you that story.” Tears fell from Arabel’s eyes as she kissed Aurora’s forehead. “I have to go now. But _Heda_ says that you can come visit me at the shrine. Know that I do love you. But I have to do what’s right and return you to your family.”

Arabel turned away and dashed out the door before Aurora could say anything, and despite the longing that Octavia had to run to her daughter, she knew she had to finish making peace with Arabel first and followed her.

She hoped desperately that by the time she returned, Madi and Lincoln would have begun to dispel the stories that their daughter held about her.

Once out the door of the medical centre, Arabel stopped, unsure as to where to go and what to do, and started when Octavia rested her hand on her shoulder.

“The Shrine is this way.” Octavia said simply, and Arabel only nodded.

Octavia led the way through the centre of Vero, taking them to the gates of the Shrine of the _Newana._ She pushed open the simple gate and let them inside.

Arabel’s eyes swept over the series of monoliths, and they settled on the one emblazoned with the Trikru symbol.

“Is that -?” She let the question hang in the air.

“Yes, that’s the one where your husband will be named. Come.”

Arabel moved faster than Octavia did, her eyes scanning up the list of names until they reached the top, where just under the Trikru symbol, there was the inscription _Madsen kom Trikru._ She traced the name with her fingertip, collapsing against the monolith as she was overcome with sobs. Octavia rushed to her side and eased her down to the ground.

“It hurts so much.” Arabel cried. “He didn’t even let me say goodbye. Every day, I - I can’t stop thinking of what our lives could have been like if he hadn’t sacrificed himself.”

“It is possible that none of us would be alive today.” Octavia murmured to her. “We may have all died in that bunker. An entire people, wiped out. Because of him, we live. That doesn’t take away the pain of his loss, I know. Loss is hard. But now you can honour that loss. You can finally heal and start again and not be defined by that pain.”

Octavia and Arabel sat by the monolith for what may have been hours, until Gaia came out of the Shrine, followed by a small group of teenagers - orphans of the _Newana,_ the novitiates under her care who helped her maintain the shrine.

_“Jovakepa?”_ Gaia asked curiously.

_“Gaia Fleimkepa.”_ Octavia said formally, standing up and bringing Arabel to her feet as well. “I would like you to meet your new assistant.”

“I don’t understand.” Gaia said, gazing at Arabel curiously, until her memory dawned and the pieces fell into place. “Wait. I remember you. Arabel. Your husband Madsen - he was the first of the _Newana.”_

_“Hofli Keryon kom Newana na shoun oso op.”_ Whispered the novitiates standing behind her, and Octavia joined them. _(May the spirits of the Immortal Ones guide us.)_

Arabel looked at her, her expression still trying to comprehend.

“It is as I told you.” Octavia said. “We honour their memory. Their spirits are eternal. We never forget what their sacrifice meant for us. Gaia will teach you how we honour them.”

“Please explain.” Gaia said. “What’s going on?”

“Perhaps we should go inside and I’ll fill you in.” Octavia said.

“Very well.” Gaia turned to the novitiates. “You know your tasks out here. Return to the shrine when you’re finished.”

Octavia and Arabel followed Gaia up the path to the shrine. Gaia paused on the threshold, clasping her hands over her heart and whispering the same benediction that they’d spoken in the Commander’s hall. Once she stepped inside, Octavia and Arabel did the same before entering.

The main space of the shrine was massive, ceilings high above their heads, but Arabel’s eyes went to the meandering metal rail that followed the irregular edges of a large pond with a small island at the centre, this area open to the sky above. The island was lush with greenery, except for the very centre, where the eternal flame burned in a special enclosure.

The metal rail that drew Arabel’s attention was etched with the names of each of the Newana, in the order of their deaths, and behind each name there was a small platform where visitors could place tokens of remembrance and burn incense.

Arabel found Madsen’s name at the beginning of the rail, running her fingertip over his name again, and seeing the tokens resting on the platform behind it, as well as an indentation that showed years of incense burns.

“But I’ve never been here.” She whispered. “Who honours him? Who has been here?”

“I can’t speak to every token or burning, but I come here on the seventeenth of every month.”

“He died on the seventeenth of May.”

Octavia nodded. “Each day I come here, and burn incense for those who died on that day of the month. Sometimes friends and family of each of the _Newana_ are here too, some come every month, some only once a year on the precise date they died.”

“I may be the Flamekeeper and the Keeper of the Shrine, but _Jovakepa_ is the Keeper of their Memory.” Gaia explained. “As she did in the bunker, she has continued to keep that sacred duty here.”

“I never realized that.” Arabel said faintly. “I guess I didn’t want to. I’m sorry, _Jovakepa._ For what I did. I truly am.”

“I forgive you. Knowing that my daughter is alive after believing her to be dead for so many years… that is not a gift I expected to receive. Of course I wish that she’d been with me all of these years, but we can’t change the past. Forgiveness is a beginning, not an end. A commitment to doing better in the future.”

“I understand. I will work to let go of the anger in my heart, to respect my husband’s sacrifice properly. I realize now that you never took it lightly, that you didn’t take joy in the lives you took during the _Yiron kom Givnes,_ but that my husband gave you the sacred task that your title stands for. So that his sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain, he asked that of you each day until our people’s future was secured.”

Octavia nodded. “I remember his words every day. Now, will you light some incense with me, and then Gaia will instruct you further?”

“Yes, _Jovakepa._ I will.”

“We’ll let you have a moment here alone as we get it. We’ll be back in a moment.”

Gaia followed Octavia to the incense storage room, and closed the door behind them once they were inside.

“So let me see if I understand this correctly.” Gaia said. “This woman kidnapped your child - your eldest daughter, who we’d believed dead for years? Is that correct? To strike against you in revenge for her husband’s death during the _Yiron kom Givnes?”_

“Yes. _Heda’s_ sentence for her was to serve here for the same length of time that she’d kept Aurora from us. She had never been here before, living far away in Wodsto with anger festering in her heart. But that ends today, as she learns to properly honour her husband and the rest of the _Newana_ for years to come.”

“A fair sentence. Did you help Madi with it?”

“No, she came to it on her own. But it was a wise decision. As you heard, Arabel is ready to assist you in your duties here, working with the novitiates.”

“In just a few short years, we will have a new class of novitiates, as these teenagers make their way into the world. I’ll be training Nightbloods to succeed Madi after that. Over two dozen have been born over the past ten years. But we will also maintain our sacred duties to the shrine, but Arabel may need to become the lead keeper.”

“That’s fair. There is a lot to learn should one wish to take the Flame.”

“Wisdom doesn’t only reside in the Flame. You managed very well even without it.” Gaia said, voice full of warmth. “I’d grown up believing that only Nightbloods were worthy of leadership, since only they could take the Flame, but each day of your rule I learned more and more that blood doesn’t define wisdom. You didn’t need the Flame to rule, and I have started to wonder if it is even necessary that we maintain it, or if we should open leadership to anyone who wishes to study for it.”

“Questions for another day.” Octavia said, scanning the shelves and picking up a small cone of incense and two long matchsticks. “Arabel and I must do this now, and then I need to return to the medical centre to properly meet my daughter.”

Gaia nodded. “Find this peace and I hope that your reunion goes smoothly.”

Octavia pushed the door open, and returned to Arabel, who was still standing by her husband’s name, fingertips trailing over it, over and over again.

“Arabel?” Octavia asked softly. “It’s time. Are you ready?”

“How do we do this?”

“We put this here.” Octavia placed the incense cone in the indentation and handed one of the matchsticks to Arabel. “Then we take these matchsticks to the eternal flame, light them, and return here to light the incense. Follow me.”

Octavia led the way around the pond to the closest point to the island, where they ducked under the railing to cross over the water on the stepping stones. Dipping their matchsticks into the flame, they blazed to life with a crackle, and they made their way carefully back to shore.

“Together.” Octavia said softly, and the two of them touched the incense with their matchsticks, the cone flaring with a glow as the fire touched it.

Hands clasped over hearts, they repeated the Wonkru benediction together: _“Den givnes kom Newana, den uf kom Jovakepa, oso kik raun. Gon koma kom Newana, gon chilnes kom Jovakepa, oso hod in. Omon gon oson.” (Because of the sacrifice of the Immortal Ones, because of the strength of the Courage-Keeper, we live. By the honour of the Immortal Ones, by the peace of the Courage-Keeper, we love. All of me for all of us.)_

“I hope you find your peace here.” Octavia said, resting her hands on Arabel’s shoulders as they completed the ceremony. “And I will bring her to visit, you have my word on that.”

“Thank you.” Arabel surprised Octavia by pulling her in for a hug. “That’s the first time I’ve spoken your name in that benediction, but now I understand why it is there. I hope that you can undo what I did. What I taught her. I don’t know if I could help or hinder that work, so I will leave it to _Heda_ to decide.”

“We’ll see what is needful.” Octavia said. “When I come tomorrow, I’ll know more. But now I must go see my daughter.”

* * *

Octavia had made her way back to the medical centre quickly, but now she hovered by the closed door of her daughter’s room, overcome with fear and anxiety. What if Aurora wouldn’t accept her? What if everything that Arabel taught her couldn’t be undone, even if Lincoln was certain that it could be? What if she didn’t want to see or know her at all?

“I am not afraid.” She whispered to herself, a phrase she hadn’t had to use in a very long time. It had been a long time since she’d had any kind of fear, but now she felt a fear she hadn’t felt since the day Aurora had disappeared. “I am not afraid.”

She pushed the door open.

As Octavia entered the room, all three of its occupants - Aurora, Madi, Lincoln - looked up at her. Aurora’s gaze was still suspicious.

“Hello.” Octavia said, closing the door behind her as she stepped inside. “How have things been going here?”

“I’ve been telling Mora about her siblings.” Lincoln said.

“While we know that Aurora is the name that she was given at birth, she has asked that we call her Mora while she decides whether she wants to keep that name, return to her birth name, or choose a new one entirely.” Madi explained.

“All right. Hello, Mora.”

“Hi.” Just that one syllable was full of mistrust but Octavia approached the bed nonetheless, pulling up a chair next to Lincoln.

“Did you take my mother to prison?” Mora asked, her words clipped as she glared at Octavia.

“No. I took her to the Shrine of the _Newana._ Has _Heda_ explained who the _Newana_ are?”

“You ate them. While living in a bunker.”

“We did. If we hadn’t, none of us would be alive today.”

_“Heda_ would. She wasn’t in the bunker.”

“She wasn’t, that is true. But the rest of Wonkru was. You wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the _Newana_ and their sacrifice during the _Yiron kom Givnes._ It is because of them that we live.”

“Maybe everyone ate them, but _you_ killed them.”

“I did. I was the leader, and I couldn’t ask anyone else to take that responsibility in my stead. That burden is mine to bear. As I showed Arabel at the Shrine, the responsibility to remember them is one that I take seriously. Once you can walk more easily, we’ll take you there as well, so you can see.”

“Did you beg her for forgiveness? For killing her husband?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t ask for forgiveness. People had to die to guarantee our survival, to provide a meal for those who still lived. To ask for forgiveness would be to dishonour their sacrifice. I live with those deaths on my conscience, and there is no absolution for that. Only the knowledge that it did bring our people to a better life and a secure future.”

“Well, at least you don’t deny it.”

“I wouldn’t do that. The _Yiron kom Givnes_ ended fifteen years ago, but still each day I do what I can to honour their sacrifice. And I am glad that you’re asking these questions. I don’t want you to be afraid of doing that. Anything you want to know, anything you want to ask us, we’ll tell you.”

“Lincoln told me about my siblings. Luna was named for a friend of his. Astraea and Apollon are new names. Was I named for someone?”

“Yes. Aurora was my mother’s name.” Octavia smiled briefly. “My brother Bellamy also wanted to use that name for his daughter, but I beat him to it by a few months.”

“Your brother. So that means that I have cousins? I didn’t have any siblings or cousins in Wodsto.”

“Yes, you have three cousins. Clarke is just a few months younger than you. She’s Bellamy and Echo’s oldest child. Then they also have Roan, who is five years old, and Achilles, who is a year and a half.”

“Are they named for anybody?”

“Clarke and Roan are named for people we knew, yes. Clarke was a friend of ours, who came to Earth with us from the Ark. She died in Praimfaya, the death wave that forced us to live under the ground. She sacrificed herself making sure that my brother and some of the others could make it back to space when making it back to the bunker was no longer an option. Roan was Echo’s king, the king of Azgeda, the Ice Nation, and he died in the Final Conclave, which was the fight to decide which clan would get the bunker.”

“You were the one who won that fight. Did you kill him too?”

“No. Luna did. She killed most of the competitors to ensure that I would win.”

“Why you and not her?”

“She had suffered a lot of loss and she had no desire to continue living. All of her clan died because of radioactive fish. She was a better warrior than I was, and she told me she’d draw attention to herself, and clear the field of competitors, because everyone else was fighting only for their own. She knew Lincoln and I always wanted to bring the clans together to live peacefully, so this was the opportunity to make that possible.”

“So you killed her then?”

“She took her own life when we were the last two standing. I would have liked for us to claim victory together, but she said it could only be me. That the clans would only listen to one solitary victor. One last death, she said, and then the killing could stop.”

“Did it?”

“With the exception of the _Yiron kom Givnes,_ yes, it did. We’ve lived here in _Louwoda Kliron_ for twelve years, and we have had peace here. It wasn’t an empty promise or far-off hope, it became real.”

Mora gave a short nod and closed her eyes, resting back against her pillows. “I want to rest now. Please everybody leave.”

Octavia itched to hug her daughter, or to kiss her forehead, but she pushed those feelings down, knowing in her heart that she couldn’t rush this, knowing that if she pushed too soon and too hard, she might never be able to rebuild her relationship with her. It was too important to risk, and she needed to follow her lead.

“Sleep well.” Octavia whispered. “We will come back after lunch.”

Mora didn’t give any response, and Madi and Lincoln followed Octavia out of the room, closing the door behind them.

Octavia rested back against the wall in the hallway outside, letting out a long breath that she hadn’t realized she was holding. Lincoln rubbed her shoulder and pulled her close to his chest, not saying a word.

“It’ll take time, but I think things went well, all things considered.” Madi said as Octavia and Lincoln held each other. “You should talk to Jackson and Niylah, and see how long she needs to stay here. Hopefully soon she can move over to my place. It will be easier for her to get acclimatized to Vero if she’s not in a hospital bed.”

“What do you want to do?” Lincoln whispered into Octavia’s hair. “Do you think you can sleep?”

“I want to hold all of my children.” Octavia murmured into his chest. “But I know that will take time even if I wish it was easy. Can we go to Bellamy’s so that I can at least hold the others?”

“Of course.”

“I have some business to take care of, but I’ll meet you back here after noon.” Madi said. “Take the rest of the morning with your brother and the rest of your children. You need that inner calm after everything that’s happened. I know it hasn’t been easy.”

“Thank you.”

Madi disappeared down the hall in one direction, while Lincoln led Octavia in the other, leaving out the side door of the medical centre, an exit that was closer to Bellamy’s home. Making their way down the village streets, they came upon the house, finding everyone in the front yard.

“O!” Bellamy exclaimed when he saw her, passing the ball in his hands over to Roan and coming up to join them. “Tell me everything.”

Octavia let go of Lincoln and melted into Bellamy’s arms, clutching him tight as tears pricked her eyes. She buried her face in his shoulder, willing herself not to cry in front of the children, pulling away only when she believed her emotions to be contained.

“Aurora’s alive. Her - she - the woman who took her, Arabel, Madi’s sentence was for her to serve in the Shrine of the _Newana_ the same number of days that she kept Aurora from us.”

“Why there?”

“Her husband was the first of the _Newana,_ and she had never been able to accept that. She hated me, and took her revenge by taking my child.”

“And you’re satisfied with that sentence? You accept that?”

“I do. I know what pain must have driven her to do that, and it is a pain that can only be healed by honouring her husband’s memory properly. She had never been to the Shrine, she never knew everything that I do to honour the memory of the _Newana,_ but she knows now. I took her there, and we paid tribute to her husband together.”

“I’d want the book thrown at her. I wouldn’t be happy with that.”

“Bell… you weren’t there. You didn’t live through what we lived through. I can understand why she’s felt the way she has. I don’t blame her for it. I have to build a positive relationship with her. If I want my daughter to love me again, I have to have compassion and understanding for the woman who raised her. It won’t work any other way. There are moments that define us, for better or for worse, and could any of us honestly say, that if circumstances had been a bit different and we lost someone we loved, that we wouldn’t also want revenge?”

Bellamy looked at the ground, expression somber, as he remembered the revenge, almost two decades ago now, that he’d participated in when his girlfriend Gina had been killed. Revenge that hadn’t even been against those responsible. Revenge that Lexa had decreed would not come with further revenge, and so that cycle had stopped. Blood would not have blood.

“I get it.” He said, looking back up at her and Lincoln. “I do. You’ve done a brave and noble thing today. And that you did it without even a second thought just shows how strongly your experiences have shaped you for the better. Mom would be proud.”

“She’d be proud of both of us.”

“Lincoln, what about you?” Bellamy asked, clasping arms with his brother-in-law. “You’ve been quiet.”

“This has been about my daughter, but it has not been my battle. Arabel - the woman who stole Aurora - her conflict was with Octavia, not me. Her husband was a friend of mine. All I can do is help nurture the better angels within Arabel’s soul, and teach my daughter who her mother truly is, rather than the scary false stories of _Jovakepa_ that Arabel raised her on.”

Bellamy nodded, and without further words they entered the yard, and Octavia scooped Apollon up from the ground, where he was babbling with Achilles, as the two of them ran around in circles around Echo.

“Mama!” Achilles exclaimed as Octavia clutched him tight. “Mama here!”

“I am, baby.” Octavia murmured, as Luna ran up to clutch onto her leg. Astraea and Clarke weren’t there, probably at school, which would let out for lunch soon enough, only a block away from where they stood.

Echo got to her feet, sweeping the grass off her pants, and lifted Achilles onto her hip as she kissed each of Octavia’s cheeks in greeting. “Come help me get lunch ready and tell me the story?”

“In a bit. I just need to have my family here first.” Octavia pressed her lips to the top of Apollon’s head, while Lincoln came up to them, swooping Luna up in one of his arms, and bringing the four of them together. They stood there, holding their family, as they heard the sounds of the school letting out, and a few minutes later Astraea and Clarke appeared in the yard, Lincoln and Octavia both pulling Astraea into their family circle as well.

“What’s going on?” Astraea asked. “Why did we have to stay with _Ani_ Echo and _Onka_ Bellamy last night?”

“We have important news.” Octavia said. “Something that might be hard to hear.”

“That sounds familiar. I’m getting another little brother or sister, aren’t I?” Astraea rolled her eyes.

“The opposite actually. Your big sister. She’s alive.” Lincoln said.

Astraea’s eyes widened. She wasn’t old enough to remember Aurora, not really, but the spectre of her disappearance had hovered over her early childhood enough to leave an impression. “Aurora’s alive?”

“She is. Someone who didn’t like your Mommy had stolen her from us.” Lincoln explained. “But she will be joining our family again soon. You’re going to have to be nice to her and make sure she knows she belongs with us, okay?”

“Why did the thief not like Mommy?”

“She didn’t understand everything Mommy did to save our people in the bunker.”

“She doesn’t know the story of the _Newana?”_ Luna asked, chewing on the end of one of her braids. “But everybody knows that story.”

“She knew it, because her husband was one of them. The first, in fact. But she was sad that he died and didn’t know how to heal that sadness. Now while Aurora comes back to us, the lady who took her is going to work in the Shrine and remember him the right way. And you know how we do that, right?”

Luna and Astraea both nodded, hands over their hearts, closing their eyes, and reciting the Wonkru benediction. Apollon tried to join in, though he didn’t understand the meaning, not yet.

“Okay.” Octavia said, letting Apollon back down to the ground and turning back to Echo. “Now it is time for us to have some lunch. Let’s go help _Ani_ Echo, okay?”

* * *

After they finished their lunch, Octavia and Lincoln took some time to rest against each other in the shade of one of the trees in Bellamy and Echo’s yard, the stress of the morning beginning to dissipate as they were able to doze. But they couldn’t rest for long, for they knew Madi and Mora would be waiting for them, and they still had to talk to Jackson and see when their daughter would be able to leave the medical centre.

“Can we go with you, Mommy?” Luna asked. “We want to see our big sister!”

“Not yet, little one.” Octavia said, kneeling down in front of her and kissing her forehead. “She only found out this morning that the woman who raised her wasn’t her mommy. She’s only just starting to learn about you. Too many people at once will be overwhelming. But soon, I promise, okay?”

“Okay.”

Leaving Luna and Apollon in Echo’s care again, Octavia and Lincoln returned to the medical centre, running into Jackson almost as soon as they came in.

“Jackson. Hey. When will she be able to leave here? Do you have a timeline?”

“Well, it is just a broken leg. She’s stable. And if we’re just moving her across the square to the Commander’s hall, where I’ll be anyway, she can move tonight. I’ll ask Miller to get the spare room in the back ready for her.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Jackson nodded, and rushed off down the hall to his next patient, while Lincoln and Octavia headed back to Mora’s room, knocking softly as they entered, finding Madi already sitting by Mora’s bedside.

“Good news. Doctor Jackson says you can leave here tonight. You don’t have to stay in the medical centre anymore.” Lincoln said.

“I’ll stay here, thanks. I don’t want to go with you when I don’t even know you.” Mora muttered.

“You are not going with them right away.” Madi said, resting a hand on Mora’s arm, which she didn’t shy away from, which Octavia considered a positive development. “You’re going to come stay with me in the Commander’s Hall. Miller and Doctor Jackson live there too. Your Mama and Papa will come visit regularly, and then they’ll also introduce you to your sisters and brother. You’ll also get to meet your uncle and cousins. Then when you’ve had practice walking around on crutches, your Mama will take you to see Arabel at the Shrine of the Newana. Okay?”

“I guess it has to be okay. It’s not like I have a choice, right?”

Madi sighed. “Mora, we talked about this. I know it isn’t easy, that’s why we’re taking it in steps. But Octavia and Lincoln thought you were dead for nine years. You are their child, not Arabel’s. She taught you lies about Octavia, about who she was as _Jovakepa,_ and she acknowledges that and is making her penance for it.”

“I want to see it. The Shrine. Not later, not after I’ve had to meet all sorts of people I don’t know if I want to know, I want to see it now. I want this -” Mora lifted a copy of _The Book of Jovakepa_ that she had in her lap. “- I want this to be real and to make sense. Take me to the Shrine.”

Madi turned to look at Octavia, who nodded. “All right. I will go with you, but Octavia and Lincoln will need to help you walk there. Are you okay with that?”

“Fine. Whatever. Let’s go.” Mora tossed the book to one side and threw back the covers, where Octavia and Lincoln saw her broken leg, done up in a cast, for the first time. She shifted herself to sit on the edge of the bed, swinging her good leg down, and waited.

Lincoln went over to her side with the broken leg, helping her up onto her good leg, but it was clear that the height difference between them wouldn’t be conducive to walking, so he stepped aside and let Octavia slip in to hold her steady instead. Mora was tall for her age, almost as tall as Octavia, and while it was clear that Mora was wary of being near _Jovakepa_ who she’d heard all sorts of stories about, she accepted the help without complaint, knowing it was the only way her wish could be granted.

It took almost fifteen minutes for them to just make it out the door of the medical centre, but Mora stayed silent and resolute, pushing forward. Octavia kept pace with her, not rushing her, following her lead.

Almost an hour later, they finally made it to the gate of the Shrine of _Newana,_ and while there had been some curious onlookers along the way, looks from Madi and Lincoln kept them back from asking questions.

“This is the Shrine of the _Newana.”_ Octavia said. “When we get to the threshold of the building, we say the Wonkru benediction. Do you know it?”

“I do. But mom never said the _Jovakepa_ parts. Because she hated you.”

“I know. She told me. This morning when we came here, she spoke them. She said that it was the first time she spoke my title as a part of it.”

“Seems weird that you’d say it, praising yourself. Bit self-serving, don’t you think?”

“I did not create the benediction. That was Gaia Fleimkepa, who you might meet inside. She is the Keeper of the Shrine. I am the Keeper of the Memory. I come here every day to pay respect to those who died by my hand to ensure the survival of our people.”

They inched their way up the path between the monoliths, which Mora observed as they went. Once they made it to the door, they paused on the threshold, and spoke the benediction, Octavia’s ears sharp to see if Mora spoke all of it.

She did. It was progress.

“So this is where you come to remember all the people you murdered.” Mora said as they entered the room, taking in the large space.

“Mora!” Madi admonished.

“It’s okay, _Heda.”_ Octavia said. “Let her feel her anger. These things take time.”

Gaia and Arabel came out of the incense room to investigate the noise, and Arabel stopped short in the doorway.

“Mom!” Mora exclaimed, pulling away from Octavia in Arabel’s direction, but she wasn’t steady on her foot and her whole body seethed with resentment of how Octavia and Madi had to catch her before she fell.

_“Heda?”_ Arabel asked.

“Mora demanded to see the Shrine.” Madi said. “She’s tenacious, I’ll give her that.”

“You get that from your mother.” Arabel said sadly, eyes on Octavia. “Your birth mother, that is. She has the same fire and determination.”

“You’re my mother, not _her.”_ Mora spat. “How can you let them do this to you?”

“Mora, my darling, today for the first time in years I feel free and safe. I am not being held against my will.”

“But you were sentenced to serve here.”

“Yes, _Heda_ commanded it. But I also know this is where I belong. This is where I can do the most good. Where I can make my penance for the wrong I committed, and honour my husband’s life properly.”

“Everything you taught me was a lie? I’m supposed to just accept that?”

“I’m sorry. I know it will take time for you to adjust. But I promise you, _Jovakepa_ loves you. She is your mother and she has never stopped loving you.”

“How can I love someone who is responsible for the deaths of all these people?”

“The same way you can love someone who stole a child from their mother and raised them on lies. None of us are innocent, Mora. Our survival has come at a great price, the things we’ve done to survive… before your birth, the world we knew was a very different place. I hope your generation only knows it from stories and never has to live through it themselves.”

Mora didn’t say anything, just looking at the floor with a sullen expression.

“May I?” Arabel asked, indicating her desire to approach Mora. Madi nodded her consent.

Arabel walked over to them, and Octavia and Madi stepped back, letting Arabel hold Mora. Mora threw her arms around her neck and started to cry.

“Your generation shouldn’t have to pay the price of our survival.” Arabel whispered to her. “But I’m afraid that by doing what I did, by stealing you from Octavia and raising you on lies about her role as _Jovakepa,_ that I’ve done just that when I should have left the past in the past and embraced our new world for the possibilities it offered. I’m truly sorry.” 

“This is all just too much.” Mora sobbed.

“I know, darling. I know it is. And I’m so sorry.”

* * *

They spent hours in the Shrine, introducing Mora to the true history of Wonkru. Arabel spoke of her husband, and they lit more incense for him. Gaia brought Mora over to the railing closest to the island with the eternal flame and told her the story of how the Shrine came to be, how all of Wonkru needed a space in which to make their remembrance. Octavia told Mora about the first Council meeting at the beginning of the _Yiron kom Givnes,_ and what the other council members recommended, how they recommended that she lie, but Octavia had refused to do so. Lincoln told his daughter about the fear that he’d lived with each day when Octavia had gone out to her people to offer herself to them, and the comfort he offered to each of those families who was left behind when one of their own stepped up instead.

“Wasn’t that just your guilt speaking?” Mora challenged him. “Your guilt about how your family was still intact, but theirs were not? Why didn’t you offer yourself?”

“Octavia’s father did. Kane was one of the first. Eating human flesh never sat well with him, so he gave himself to us and became one of the _Newana._ One of the Immortal Ones. We’re just ordinary people who have survived the unspeakable, who will live and die as we do, but their spirits live eternal for the sacrifice they gave so that the human race could survive.”

“You really believe that?”

“We do. And we speak of it to you and the next generations, rather than hiding it away as a shameful part of our past, because it is only right that they be remembered for generations to come for the life they gave us. For the life we were then able to give you. You live because of their sacrifice. Remember that. Honour that.”

“I… I need time.”

“We’ll give you that time. Octavia and I love you with all our hearts, and the most important thing is that you’re alive, when we’ve thought that you were dead for nine years. That you’re here and healthy - broken leg notwithstanding - is the greatest gift we could ever ask for. Whatever time you need to make your peace with us, with our pasts, we’ll give you that. I promise.”

“Okay.”

“Now, this is probably enough for one day. Let’s take you to the Commander’s hall, get you settled in there. Okay?”

Mora nodded, looking around the shrine to find the others. Octavia was finishing a ceremony at one of the remembrance plaques, Madi and Arabel were chatting not too far away, and Lincoln waved them all over.

“It’s time to take Mora to the Commander’s hall.” Lincoln told them. “We’ve done enough here for today.”

Mora gave Arabel a long hug. “Bye for now. I’ll come back and visit, I promise I will.”

“I know you will, darling. I know. But don’t forget that you also need to spend time with your family. Meet your siblings, your cousins. You’ll have new opportunities now, here in Vero. Embrace them. Live.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Good girl. I’ll be all right here, don’t you worry.”

Mora nodded, and accepted Octavia’s help to depart the Shrine, Madi and Lincoln following along behind them as they made their way slowly to the Commander’s hall, night beginning to fall across the village.

“Miller should have some dinner ready for all of us.” Madi said. “I asked him to make enough for six.”

* * *

After a long and exhausting dinner, during which Mora interrogated Miller and Jackson about the years in the bunker, Octavia and Lincoln said their goodbyes, and went over to Bellamy and Echo’s to collect the rest of their children to bring them home for the night.

Apollon and Luna settled into bed, Astraea in her reading nook with a book, Lincoln and Octavia lounged on the couch in the living room, not saying anything for a long time, just holding each other, until the hour grew late enough that Astraea set her book down, gave each of her parents a kiss goodnight, and headed to bed herself.

Once they had the room to themselves, Octavia finally spoke.

“I don’t know how I should be feeling right now.” She said honestly. “I’ve been strong and compassionate and humble but there is still that part of me that’s full of rage and anger.”

“I would say that’s normal.” Lincoln responded, kissing the top of her head. “We lost out on so much of our daughter’s life. We still need to rebuild a relationship that is currently somewhat hostile. We all live with that anger and pain inside of us, but it is important that we not let it dictate our actions. Because if we do, it just causes more anger and pain. It doesn’t break the cycle.”

“I know. I know that’s true. And I know that peace and reconciliation has always been the hardest path, but it is the path we’ve always walked. Together.” Octavia turned in his arms. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. And just the terror and fear of that is what drives my understanding of how Arabel feels. I don’t know what I’d have done in her position.”

“It isn’t something you need to worry about. I’m here.” Lincoln said, stroking her hair gently as she burrowed closer into him. “You have me. You have all of our children. Bellamy, Echo, Madi, Niylah, Gaia, Miller, Jackson, and more people besides. You’re not alone and you never have been. Arabel let herself retreat from the world after her husband died, pulling away from her friends and everyone around her, until only the pain and anger was left. You have too much love in your life for that to be possible.”

“Time was I didn’t.” Octavia’s voice wavered, remembering back to the days before the bunker. “I was so scared, Lincoln. So scared that Pike was going to do something bad to you and the other Grounders he’d locked up.”

“Kane fixed everything.” Lincoln reminded her. “Remember that. He took Pike to the Grounders. We were freed. And because of ALIE, in the end Pike also lived to find a place outside of pain as well. He has also built that new life that we’re now working towards Arabel having.”

“Is there anyone we could call on to bring in to help her? To be more of a support?”

“When I spoke to Gaia at the Shrine, she said that Indra could come in. Indra spends most of her days in Leksin these days, but she’ll come up to help if she thinks it is needful.”

“When do we introduce the kids? I don’t… I don’t know how to do this, Lincoln. Dealing with Arabel, that I can do, I know how to deal with people who have loved and lost and who feel alone in the world. But when it comes to my child… who barely knows me, and what she does know is mostly lies… I don’t know how to handle that. I’m just so scared every moment that she’ll reject us.”

“She’s asking the right questions. She’s getting answers for them. She’s our daughter, I have faith that she’ll overcome the doubts in her mind to become a part of our family again. But that is why we need to be careful when we introduce her to the others. Maybe she should meet Bellamy and Echo - without the kids - first, before we bring in the kids. Trial run with family but not children, see how she responds.”

“I think you’re right.” Octavia nodded. “Judging by how things went with Miller and Jackson, that’s probably the best idea. Plus also given that they’re also outsiders to the bunker, that they also didn’t live there like Madi, that might be helpful for her to learn about how they reacted when they learned about what we went through in the bunker.”

“Then that’s decided. We should sleep, _ai niron._ After the past 24 hours, we need it. Come on.”

Lincoln helped Octavia to her feet, and they doused the lights, heading into their bedroom. They curled up under the sheets naked, needing the assurance of each other’s skin as they drifted off to sleep.

* * *

They awoke early but rested, Octavia’s smile against Lincoln’s shoulder bringing him to full wakefulness.

“Hey.” He whispered. “How are you feeling?”

“Peaceful. Hopeful. Needing to check in with our eldest to see how she’s coming along with not hating me.”

“I feel awful about how she’s learned about you, but she doesn’t bear the same kind of hate for me, even though I was by your side the entire time.”

“It’s different, being the one who pulls the trigger versus who let it happen.”

“You didn’t pull any triggers.”

“It’s a metaphor. I know their deaths passed differently, but the metaphor remains as it is.”

“Are you going to take her with you to the Shrine?”

“Probably not today. After the walking yesterday, which she probably shouldn’t have done but she’s just as stubborn as I am, she’ll be exhausted. After breakfast, you head over to Madi’s already to get Mora ready for today’s conversation after dropping Astraea off at school, I’ll take Apollon and Luna with me to the Shrine and then drop them off with Echo before joining you.”

“You think it wise? With Arabel there?”

“I mean, I don’t think she’ll steal another one of our children, if that’s what you’re worried about. But in this case I think it is important for her to see me being a mother, being more than what she saw in the bunker. It is also important for her to see that our children are learning the importance of our history and that it wasn’t just a performance for her yesterday.”

“Makes sense. Let’s wash up and get out there then.”

* * *

By the time Octavia and Lincoln finished washing up and dressing, their children were already stirring to wakefulness themselves. It was clear Astraea had been awake for awhile, dressed and hair brushed, curled up with a book. Lincoln got breakfast ready while Octavia made sure Luna and Apollon were ready for the day, and after they ate, Lincoln and Astraea headed off in one direction while Octavia and Luna, with Apollon in a sling on Octavia’s back, headed off towards the Shrine.

The front garden surrounding the monoliths was empty as they arrived, and Octavia and Luna paused by the Skaikru monolith, where Octavia ran a finger over Kane’s name. It was sixteen years to the day that Kane had given up his life for their people.

Sixteen years since Octavia had learned that he was her biological father.

_It had been almost three weeks since Madsen kom Trikru had stepped up in Octavia’s place, sacrificing himself for Wonkru’s survival and charging her with the mission to keep them alive, three weeks where each day Octavia had knelt in the middle of the rotunda, giving her people the truth and waiting to see if that would be the day when they’d strike her down._

_It terrified her more than she was willing to admit, even to Lincoln. Especially as each day the volunteers came more slowly, even if they did eventually come. There seemed to be a battle going on within the minds of Wonkru, whether to sacrifice themselves or strike her down and hope that they could find a new solution to their impossible situation. Since no one had yet gone for their sword, that implied that they weren’t yet ready to find a solution to that themselves._

_“Omon gon oson.” Came Kane’s voice as she knelt there, closer than she would have expected for her advisors._

_She looked up to see Kane standing there, just a few feet away._

_“All of me for all of us.” Octavia translated. “What do you mean by it, Kane?”_

_“I mean exactly that. I give myself so that Wonkru can live.”_

_“That is your decision, freely made?”_

_“It is. As your father, it is my sacred duty to help you keep our people alive.” Kane reached his hand out to her so that she could stand. “And it is your duty to take my life so that they can live.”_

_Kane’s eyes had bored deep into hers, but she wasn’t willing to believe it yet. She didn’t take his hand. This was an act, right? Octavia didn’t know who her father was, and Kane surely knew that. If it was true, why not say it earlier?_

_As if he knew what she was thinking, he continued speaking: “I know, you might ask, why am I telling you this now? Why didn’t I tell you before that I was your father? That I knew Aurora Blake, in that intimate way, nine months before your birth? Truth is - I’ve known for two years, but there was never the right moment to bring it up. I thought perhaps after you won the Conclave, that was one of my proudest moments as a father, but then with all the chaos with Skaikru, it dropped to the back of my mind again._

_“But now, I can tell you. And Abby will confirm it with blood samples taken from both of us after my death, for anyone who doubts the veracity of this story. I swear to all of you assembled here that is true. I am your father, Jovakepa.”_

_It was the first time someone had used that title after Madsen had named her with it that first day, but now everyone around them was murmuring it._

_There was no going back. Kane’s decision was made, and she had to execute it._

_Execute him, her own father._

_Octavia finally got to her feet, straightening her spine to its full length, and holding out her hand. Someone in the crowd placed a sword in it. The crowd backed away as Kane knelt to one knee in front of her._

_“Marcus Kane, do you have any last words?”_

_“Remember that when all is said and done, that saving our people is about more than keeping them alive. Keep them on the good and strong path. Sacrifice is noble, vengeance is not.”_

_Octavia nodded. “Omon gon oson.”_

_“Omon gon oson.”_

_“Omon gon oson.” Whispered the crowd of Wonkru around them, as both Kane and Octavia closed their eyes, and Octavia’s sword ended his life._

“Who is Mar-cus Kane, Mommy?” Luna asked, as she sounded out the name Octavia’s fingertips lingered on.

“He was my father.”

“Your daddy is one of the _Newana?”_

“Yes. We’re going to light incense for him today, okay?”

“But inside, not here. We don’t light incense in the grass.”

“That’s correct. Only inside. And why is that?”

“Because inside _Ani_ Gaia will take care of it but outside it could burn the forest.”

“Very good. Let’s go.”

Octavia took Luna’s hand and they entered the Shrine, stopping on the threshold as always to speak the benediction. Once they opened their eyes, they saw Gaia and Arabel standing not too far in front of them, observing them.

Luna stepped half-behind Octavia, she was shy around new people, and while she knew Gaia, Arabel was unfamiliar to her.

“Luna, I would like you to meet Arabel, who is serving here in the Shrine.” Octavia said.

“Is that the lady who took Aurora because her husband is one of the _Newana,_ like your daddy?”

“It is. But you don’t have to be afraid. She’s not going to hurt us. She’s going to help us honour your grandfather today.”

“So it is true that Kane was your father?” Arabel asked. “I wasn’t in the rotunda that day, but I heard the rumours. I thought it was a stunt to motivate more people to sacrifice themselves.”

“I’m pretty sure his mission was to encourage others, but he never spoke of it to me. The first I heard of his intention to sacrifice himself, and my true parentage, was in that rotunda, at the same moment everyone else heard it. Abby did confirm it to me later on, so I know he was not lying. All of it was true.”

“There are others here today.” Gaia said. “They’re waiting for you to start the ceremony for him.”

“All right. Thank you.”

Octavia let Apollon down from the sling, and with his hand in one of hers and Luna’s in the other, she set off around the winding railing to the point not far off, where just behind a corner of the outer wall there was a small gathering of people waiting for them, where they hadn’t been visible from the entrance.

“Octavia.” Jaha said warmly, coming up to them. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Sorry, it’s been a - complicated time.”

“We know.” Abby said, coming up beside him. “Gaia explained everything to us. We wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t here today.”

“I won’t neglect my responsibilities.” Octavia said. “Lincoln is with our daughter, and I’ll join them afterward. Right now we - we have someone to remember.”

“He’d be proud of you.” Pike said. “You brought our people to the better life he died for. He’d be thrilled to know that he has grandchildren now. Four beautiful kids who will remember his legacy and pass it on.”

“Did you know Grandpa well?” Luna asked him, chewing on the end of her braid even as Octavia tried gently to stop her.

“Well enough that he once threw me into a truck and handed me over to the enemy.” Pike chuckled. “We got past that though. We worked together for many years. He was a good friend.”

“I - I brought a picture of him, that I printed off from the old Ark files.” Abby said, wiping away a tear. She knelt down in front of Luna and Apollon. “Do you want to see a picture of your Grandpa?”

“Yeah!” Luna exclaimed, then looked around, remembering where she was and slapped her hands over her mouth. “Sorry.” She mumbled.

“It’s okay, little one.” Octavia assured her, stroking her daughter’s hair. “We’re here to remember him today.”

Abby reached into her pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper, unfolding it to show Luna and Apollon the image - it showed Kane in his Ark days, all short hair and clean shaven, all in on the business of survival, not the same man who had sacrificed himself in the bunker.

“We’ll put it on his altar here.” Abby said. “That way everyone will be able to see him.”

“I can get you a frame, so that it is sturdier.” Gaia said.

“Thank you, Gaia.”

While Gaia slipped away, the rest of the group drew closer together as Arabel distributed matchsticks to all of them. They were too many to all make the procession to the eternal flame on the island, so Octavia asked Luna to hold her little brother’s hand and stay with the older members of Skaikru while she went to the eternal flame on her own.

Returning back with fire, Octavia tapped her matchstick to the others’, sharing the light around with which they set fire to several cones of incense that were sitting on Kane’s remembrance platform, in front of the newly framed photograph.

“Marcus Kane, you were a leader on the Ark and on the ground. When we entered the bunker, you were one of my most trusted advisers as I took on the mantle of leadership. Through all of that, I never knew that you were my father until you said it in front of all of Wonkru when sacrificing yourself for our survival. That was sixteen years ago. You told me to keep our people on the strong and good path, and I hope I’ve done that.

“Marcus Kane, you were the eighteenth of the Newana. _Hofli yu Keryon na shoun oso op.” (May your spirit guide us.)_

_“Hofli yu Keryon na shoun oso op.”_ Repeated the rest of the gathering.

Abby, Jaha and Pike each stepped up to say their pieces, one after another. After they finished, Octavia looked out at the others.

“Is there anyone else who wishes to speak for Marcus Kane?”

Luna tugged on Octavia’s shirt. “Can I say something, Mommy?”

“Of course you can.”

Luna stepped over to the railing, reaching her hand up to touch Kane’s name. “I never knew my Grandpa. He died years before I was born. But I know that it is because of him and the other _Newana, hofli emo Keryon na shoun oso op, (may their spirits guide us),_ that me and my brother and sisters and friends are alive today.” Luna looked up at the Ark adults. “He was a friend to you, and I am sorry that he died. But I am thankful for our lives. I am thankful that we get to grow up in a world that is very different from that one. Not all of my friends understand, but as we grow up, I will make sure that they do. I promise. I promise that to you who were his friends, and you, Mommy _Jovakepa,_ that I will.”

“Thank you, little one.” Octavia murmured, wiping away a tear and lifting Luna up in her arms. “You’re still so young, but you already understand so much.”

“It’s important, Mommy. I know it is.”

“You’re right, sweetheart. It is so important. I’m glad you know that.”

“Will I be _Jovakepa_ after you?”

“I…” Octavia didn’t know how to answer that, and looked at Gaia, eyes begging for some sort of advice.

Gaia came over to them, and touched Luna on the shoulder. “I am the Keeper of the Shrine here, as I am the Keeper of the Flame. _Jovakepa_ is a title that only belongs to your mother, but if you want to be the Keeper of the Memory after her, then we can work to make that happen, okay?”

“Okay, _Ani_ Gaia.”

All of the Ark adults gave their thanks and best wishes to Luna before scattering around the shrine, remembering others, going their own way to the monoliths or back to their homes. Abby lingered by Kane’s name for a longer period of time, but judging by the way she wasn’t looking directly at the shrine, Octavia could tell that she had something else on her mind.

She could guess who that someone was.

“You’re thinking about Clarke, aren’t you?” Octavia asked her, voice low so that it wouldn’t carry to those elsewhere in the Shrine.

Abby nodded. “We have this memorial for Marcus and the others who died in the bunker, but my daughter died saving your brother and his friends and there’s no memorial for her anywhere.”

“My brother named his daughter for her. I know he thinks about her every day. We all do. But if you speak to Madi, I’m sure she can come up with an arrangement for a physical memorial of some kind as well. My brother might have some suggestions too.”

“She should be memorialized somewhere on these grounds.” Abby said firmly. “Marcus and the other _Newana_ kept us alive in the bunker, but if Clarke hadn’t sacrificed herself to send your brother and the others to space, then we would have never gotten out of that bunker.”

“That is true. I’ll talk to Gaia and Madi and see what we can do about that.”

“Thank you.”

Octavia squeezed Abby’s shoulder, and made her way over to the incense store room, Apollon on her hip and Luna by her side. When she pushed the door open, she found that they were not alone.

Arabel was there.

“That was a beautiful ceremony.” She ventured. “Can I - I mean - a number of the people who live in Wodsto were friends of Madsen’s. Can we invite them here next year on the date of his death?”

“Of course. I’ll go to Wodsto myself to deliver the invitation.”

“Thank you.”

Arabel didn’t know what to say after that, standing there awkwardly, looking at Octavia and her children.

“I’m just here to get some incense for the others I’m remembering today.” Octavia said, trying to ease the tension, Arabel clearly not clear on why Octavia was there.

“Oh! Of course. Please, take your pick. Sorry.”

“It’s all right. Any time you want to talk to me, just ask Gaia. She’ll call me and I’ll come right over.”

Arabel nodded quickly. “Okay. Thanks.” She took her leave, departing from the back room of the incense storage, into the private sections of the Shrine where the novitiates made incense and stored other Shrine items.

“Do you want to pick three cones for us, please?” Octavia asked Luna. “We have three more memorials to do.”

“What are their names?”

“Ilyria kom Boudalankru, Quincy kom Trikru and Layla kom Podakru.”

Luna examined the different shelves and sniffed at a variety of the incense cones, carefully selecting three of them. “These ones. They smell of rock, forest and lake.”

“You remember your clan names, that’s good.”

“Of course I do, Mommy. Daddy taught them to us, and yesterday with _Ani_ Echo she was teaching them to Roan. Echo and her king Roan were… they were Ice… Azgeda.” Luna remembered.

“That’s right. Azgeda was the Ice Nation.”

“But now we’re all Wonkru, right? That’s just the history.”

“Yes, now we’re Wonkru. But the people from the different clans are still family.”

“You and Daddy were from different clans.”

“Yes, we were. Daddy was born in Trikru, and I was born in Skaikru.”

“Is that why you formed Wonkru? So that all people would be one? So they’d stop fighting?”

“It is, yes. It is what your Daddy and I wanted from the first days we met, for our people, for all people, to get along.”

“Did people not like it when you and Daddy were together?”

“They didn’t. They thought it was wrong, because your Daddy came from the ground while I came from the sky. People tried to keep us apart.”

“What people?”

_“Onka_ Bellamy was the main one.”

“But _Ani_ Echo is from the ground. Why would he not want you to be with Daddy if _Ani_ Echo is also from the ground?”

“He only met _Ani_ Echo much later. After he learned that we were all the same, just people, didn’t matter if we came from the sky or the ground, or the trees or the ice. We were all people. Bellamy did learn that eventually.”

_“Onka_ Bellamy isn’t as smart as you and Daddy.”

“Shhh.” Octavia put a finger to her lips. “Don’t say that here.”

_“Onka_ Bellamy isn’t here.”

“No, but this is a sacred place, remember that. We don’t speak ill of people here.”

“Sorry Mommy.”

“It’s okay. Now let’s go conduct these ceremonies, okay? You can go get the fire if you’re careful.” Octavia picked up three long matchsticks and they left the incense store room, heading around to the first of the three names they were there to commemorate.

The first, Ilyria kom Boudalankru, was just a few paces away from the stone steps that led to the island with the eternal flame, and Octavia watched Luna carefully as she stepped from one stone to the next, matchstick clutched in her hand. Luna had watched Octavia do it enough times, and touched her match to the eternal flame, where it flared to life, and she made the careful steps back, ducking under the railing and coming to stand next to her mother.

“Ilyria kom Boudalankru.” Octavia said.

_“Hofli yu Keryon na shoun oso op.”_ Luna whispered.

“You were Boudalankru’s storyteller and keeper of legends. Your family tells me that you’d intended on sacrificing yourself months earlier, but they begged you not to until you’d written down all of the stories and legends that you knew. Since you didn’t know how to read and write, you also needed to learn to do that. I think perhaps they hoped that the _Yiron kom Givnes_ would end before you accomplished all of that. But you were persistent. You knew your people needed you, but you wouldn’t leave them without your knowledge either.

“The _Sontaim kom Boudalankru_ (Stories of Boudalankru) have been copied and distributed a number of times, and a printed edition has also been issued. Your original papers are kept in the Wonkru Archives, where they are safe and preserved for future generations. All of your people owe you a great debt for your work and your sacrifice.”

Octavia and Luna stood there for a moment of silence, but as Apollon began to fuss, they needed to sit down on one of the benches along the outer walls to calm him down. They had been there longer than other days, along with many unfamiliar people, it made him somewhat crankier than usual. Once they performed the benedictions for Quincy kom Trikru and Kara kom Podakru, they departed the Shrine, and Octavia took Luna and Apollon down the back roads to Bellamy and Echo’s, finding Echo in the yard with the kids again.

“That took longer than I expected.” Echo said, getting to her feet and reaching for Apollon.

“I’m sorry. It was the sixteenth anniversary of Kane’s death and most of Skaikru was there, and -”

“And he was your father too.” Echo interrupted. “Bellamy told me.”

“Did he tell you when Kane told me?”

“Right as he volunteered to die to feed your people.”

Octavia nodded, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “I wish he had told me earlier. That we’d had time together as father and daughter, but - it is what it is, I suppose. Can’t change the past.”

“He’d be proud of you.”

“Jaha and Pike said that too.”

“They’re right.” Echo turned to walk them further into the yard, and sat down, letting Apollon loose with Achilles. “I was born into the clans. I was raised in Azgeda. I saw the Final Conclave, I even cheated in it. I knew what our people were like. When we opened the bunker, I’ll be honest. I was surprised at what we found. I wasn’t expecting so much _peace_ from a people who didn’t know if they were ever getting out.”

Octavia shrugged. “We did have some advance knowledge that we might not get out as quickly as planned. When we ran out of protein, before the thought of the _Yiron kom Givnes_ was on the table, we tried to open the hatch, see if we could scavenge for, well, anything. That’s when we learned we were trapped, barring a miracle. I did consider keeping that secret from my people, but I knew that if I was to propose eating each other to survive, they needed to know that there was no other option. No other means of survival.”

“I understand. But you got people to truly cooperate. That seems miraculous to me, given everything I know of my people.”

“Survival is a team sport, as they used to say on the Ark.” Octavia smiled briefly. “My victory in the Conclave and the declaration that we’d live together was only the beginning. People needed to understand how that living together would work. I wasn’t even sure myself, but Lincoln knew a lot, he’d been working at this peace between clans for longer than I ever had. He gave me the tools I needed to make sure that as long as people were focused on our collective survival, there wasn’t time for them to have petty conflicts with one another.”

“I guess that’s fair. I’m still shocked that people didn’t get restless.”

“Oh, that they did. But we removed weapons from the occasion, and people sparred and trained in non-lethal combat for hours and hours. It helped.”

“Fair enough.”

Octavia knelt down to give Luna a kiss. “Have a good day with _Ani_ Echo. I need to go see your Daddy and your oldest sister. I hope you’ll be able to meet her soon, okay?”

“Okay Mommy.”

“I love you, little one. Be good for _Ani_ Echo.”

“I’m sure she will be.” Echo said. “Luna, Roan is in the playroom. How about you go find him and bring out the horsies?”

“Yeah!” Luna raced off.

“Good luck, Octavia.” Echo said, clasping her arm in the traditional greeting. “If you need anything, just ask.”

“Lincoln and I were thinking that we might want her to meet you and Bellamy first, before we introduce the kids. It might be easier that way. She… she’s still working through all of the lies she’s been told, and we thought it might be easier for her to meet some people who also weren’t in the bunker, and had to learn of our story later, after it happened.”

Echo nodded. “Sure. Whatever you need. The _Yiron kom Givnes_ was a shock, sure, but not entirely a surprise. What was more of a surprise was how calmly it all happened.” She cocked her head with a smirk. “But I suppose that’s why they call you _Jovakepa.”_

“It is indeed.” Octavia sighed. “I just want my daughter to love me again. I remember the first time she looked up at me with her big brown eyes, and… how we got from that to here… well, nine years of separation.”

“It will take time, but I’m sure she’ll come around. We came around to each other, after all, despite the threats and the fights.”

“Fights just sounds so… inadequate for what we’ve been through.” Octavia raised her eyebrow. “Every one of my pregnancies has been made more painful by that scar in my side. I’ve got you to thank for that.”

“And because of that, I take care of your kids whenever you need to run off somewhere.” Echo raised her eyebrow right back. “All’s well that ends well. Your daughter will learn to love you again. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, Echo.”

“Now go. They’re waiting for you.”

Octavia nodded and headed out of the yard, wondering what topics had come up for Lincoln and Mora while she’d been elsewhere.

She made her way into the centre of town, knocking on Madi’s door. Miller admitted her, and she walked into the main space of the hall, seeing Mora, Madi and Lincoln sitting on the couches off to one side.

“Finally she appears.” Mora scoffed. “Dad’s been here for hours.”

“Mora, Octavia is more than just your mother.” Madi said sternly. “She is the spiritual leader for all of Wonkru. She is _Jovakepa,_ and she has responsibilities. You saw just a glimpse of these responsibilities at the Shrine yesterday. But today had more of a ceremony, didn’t it?”

“Yes. Most of Skaikru was there because today was the sixteen year anniversary of Marcus Kane’s death.” Octavia fixed her gaze on her daughter. “Kane was not only one of Skaikru’s leaders, but he was also my father. I didn’t know that until the day he stepped into the rotunda to offer himself to us.”

“Right. Dad said that yesterday, that you killed your own father.”

“If he hadn’t offered himself to us, we’d all be dead. Each day I make sure we’re living in a way worthy of his sacrifice.”

“Did he say any last words?”

“He did. He told me to keep our people on the right path. That saving our people was about more than just keeping them alive. That we should seek righteousness and not vengeance.” Octavia sat down next to Lincoln. “I could have done better with that last one, it would appear. If I’d worked closer with all of the families who had members sacrifice themselves for us, instead of just those who sought me out, perhaps Arabel wouldn’t have spent years living with hate in her heart. Perhaps she never would have taken you from us. I thought giving families space was what they needed, but it seems that may have not been the case.”

“Wodsto has a lot of people who hate you.” Mora said sullenly. “They didn’t really talk about why. But I guess they all had family who died.”

Octavia looked over to Madi. “Perhaps I should go visit Wodsto. And the other outer villages too, to make sure the people there know what’s going on here, to make sure they know about the Shrine and how our remembrance is practiced.”

“We can talk about that.” Madi said with a nod. “I can send Indra to get an advance view of what you might be walking into.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Octavia said. “This is something I have to do, regardless of how they respond to me. Whatever it is, I have to face it on my own.”

“Wodsto won’t be the only one.” Mora said. “Mom and I sometimes went to Stras and Ycer. People there are like they are in Wodsto.”

“Even I haven’t been to Stras.” Madi said. “Perhaps we should both visit there together. It would be a step to making sure that Wonkru finds reconciliation.”

“We can do that, yes.” Octavia nodded. “I recall making visits to the outer villages in the early years as we were just getting established in this valley, but I guess recently we haven’t done the same to ensure unity.”

“Well, right now unity is not as top of mind because there is nothing to be united against.” Madi said. “If everyone is happy, no one worries about things like that. I suppose that’s why we neglected the outer villages, there was no need to interfere. But unity and cohesion are just as important in peace time as they are in war. We don’t need people reporting in every week, but we do need to ensure that each village knows that we are here for them.”

“And about the Shrine.” Octavia said. “Even though we sent word out to all of the villages three years ago when it was time for the dedication ceremony, it seems like people only came from the closest villages. Arabel hadn’t even heard of it.”

“People remember their own.” Mora said. “Do they need a place far away here to do it in?”

“I suppose coming all the way here might be something that not everyone wants to undertake.” Octavia turned to Madi. “Do you suppose we could build smaller memorials in each of the villages? Since it seems like people have stabilized their living arrangements now, that might be something they could want.”

“I think that projects like that should be undertaken with the consultation of the people in the villages.” Madi said. “They have their own private remembrance. If we come in and enforce our way of doing so, that would accomplish the opposite of what we want.”

“You’re probably right.” Octavia sighed. “I was so blind, thinking that the people I saw here, the people who come to the Shrine and who I counsel are all that come to remember those we’ve lost. I never thought that there could be people who didn’t want to remember through official channels because they didn’t believe the same way we did.”

“Miller, do we have a map of the villages?” Madi asked.

“Not here, no.”

“I think we have a map at the library.” Lincoln said. _“Heda,_ will you accompany me to the library so that we can get a copy of it more quickly?”

“Sure.” Madi’s eyes flitted from Lincoln to Octavia, and she clearly knew what Lincoln was trying to do - leave Octavia and Mora alone for a period of time.

Mora appeared to realize this too, but with her broken leg, she simply sighed and resigned herself to staying with Octavia.

“We’ll be back soon.” Madi said.

Madi, Miller and Lincoln disappeared out the door of the hall, leaving Octavia and Mora facing each other across the low table between them.

“You’re different.” Mora observed.

“In what way do you mean?”

“Mom told me that _Jovakepa_ was strong and unbending and never made concessions to anyone, enforcing her will alone.”

“It might have appeared that way in the bunker.” Octavia said honestly. “As much as I didn’t like it, when living in circumstances where our survival balanced on a knife’s edge, the only way I would be respected was by being a strong autocratic ruler. Do you know what autocratic means?”

“Dictator.”

“Not completely, but close enough. That has been the tradition of our people for decades. The Commander was also an autocratic leader before Praimfaya. Her will was law. So that had to be my public face in the bunker as well, and it was even more important because I wasn’t a Nightblood with the Flame who they’d respect more easily. So the only option was to appear unbending and inflexible. Privately, though, I had my advisers who provided advice and suggestions. But I could only appear in front of my people alone.”

“So lots of people made decisions, but you were the public face of them?”

“Basically. There were a lot of decisions I wasn’t always sure on, but I had Lincoln, your father, to make sure that whatever I proclaimed to the people was something I could live with. If what the others suggested or recommended wasn’t something that was in tune with my own heart, then he made sure that the others backed off. He wouldn’t let them make me live with something that I felt to be wrong.”

“Like just killing people and feeding them to the rest in secret.”

“Exactly. I couldn’t do that. It would be wrong. Not giving people a choice to live or die, and then feeding the others the flesh of another without their consent… I couldn’t do that. So I had to risk it all and hope that our people respected my honesty. Which they did. And I remember that every day.”

“If they hadn’t been willing. If Madsen hadn’t sacrificed himself that first day and they’d taken you instead, what do you think would have happened?”

“Our people would have realized that I wasn’t enough, and they’d still have to choose someone after that too. I could hope that they’d have developed an organized system of volunteers, like we did, but if they weren’t able to do that, then it could have been a free for all war. More would have died than necessary as they fought for what little resources we had. Some would have been consumed. Someone would have had to rise to power, but I couldn’t say who would have come to lead Wonkru after that. Most of my advisers probably would have been wiped out, Lincoln too. So I really can’t be sure who would have led after me, or if Wonkru would have made it the extra year until the bunker was opened.”

“You believe in your own mythology, don’t you? That you were the chosen one who had to lead?”

“I hadn’t ever wanted to lead. It wasn’t something I was ready for. I’d never done it before, and I’d only been living among people besides my brother and mother for six months. I didn’t know how to lead. But everyone insisted on it. Indra most of all. Like I said, Wonkru was used to an autocratic leader like the Commanders were back then. Indra believed it would be easier to maintain order in that same way.”

“That isn’t the question I asked.”

“Did I believe myself to be chosen? In a sense, I was. It wasn’t something I chose for myself. But when I was given that responsibility I wasn’t going to abandon it. I still don’t abandon it now. I knew what I was asking of our people for our survival, and I knew I had to be the one to bear that. If I didn’t believe that it would bring us to a better world, I may have just as well curled up and died right there, taking my people with me. I had to believe then that their sacrifices would bring us to a better world. And they did. Without those deaths, we wouldn’t be sitting here. You wouldn’t even exist.”

“I guess that’s something I’m having difficulty with. How do I accept that the only reason I’m alive is that my parents killed people and ate human flesh to survive?”

“I asked Lincoln that same question before we told your sisters about the _Yiron kom Givnes_ when the dedication of the Shrine of the _Newana_ was about to take place. They’d heard of the _Newana_ and the _Yiron kom Givnes_ before that, of course, but they didn’t know what it really meant. I was so scared to tell them.”

“How did they take it?”

“Better than I’d expected. Luna in particular - she was three then, she’s six years old now - was… fascinated isn’t quite the right word, but she understood the solemnity of the situation. She comes with me to the Shrine regularly. This morning, when we were remembering my father with a number of other members of Skaikru, she spoke in his memory. Thanking him that it is because of his death that she lived. That it was because of the sacrifices of all of the _Newana_ that we live in a better world now where such horrors will never need to take place again.”

“Was that really a story to tell a three year old?”

“It is the story of our people. The reason why we tell it rather than hiding it like it is some taboo is because it is such a pivotal part of our people’s history. Treating it as something shameful never to be discussed dishonours the memory of those who died. It dishonours all that we sacrificed to ensure a future for our people.”

“But it serves as something of a warning too, right? Just like the stories of Praimfaya.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, it tells people not to do anything to destroy the world, to destroy our society, because otherwise we could find ourselves needing to be in a bunker like that again, hiding from the world, hiding from each other.”

“I suppose that’s true. Maybe that’s all it will be for future generations, a cautionary tale of what humanity has had to do to survive, but for us, it is a very real and tangible part of our past. A constant reminder to work to maintain the beautiful world that their deaths gave us.”

“Do you have nightmares of those days?”

“I do.”

“How many people died?”

“Three hundred and fifty-two.”

“All of them by your hand?”

“All but three. Three people chose to starve to death instead of sacrificing themselves.”

“Are those three people commemorated anywhere?”

“No. They were selfish. They didn’t condone the sacrifice of the _Newana.”_

“They didn’t want to eat people, you mean.”

“Not only that. There were those who didn’t want to eat human flesh, and they were the first who volunteered, because they kept their personal convictions separate from the survival of our people. Those who starved to death denied life to the rest of Wonkru, and that’s the most selfish choice they could make.”

“What happened to their bodies?”

“Well, they weren’t good for our food. But they were still ground up and used as fertilizer for the plants.”

“Gross.”

“We weren’t going to waste what little they left to us.”

“Who was the last of the _Newana?_ Did they know they were the last?”

“Marshall kom Ouskejonkru. And yes, he did.”

“How did you get those last volunteers?”

“Abby and Jackson had calculated how long the human body could survive without large amounts of protein, and calculated that against the growth of the new protein plants, based on Cooper and Pike’s numbers. That gave us a figure for when we could safely stop sacrificing our own to make it to when our plant protein was viable again. Like with everything else during the _Yiron kom Givnes,_ we were honest about those numbers.”

“Were the calculations right?”

“They were. Those last days were hard. _Really_ hard. But we made it. I could barely get out of bed those days, I was so weak. But I knew I had to, to make sure that my people did too, that they fought to survive even when it was hard.”

“You were supposed to only be in that bunker for five years, but you were there for six. How did you manage that?”

“The _Yiron kom Givnes_ gave us that opportunity too. We wouldn’t have survived another year though. But because our population went down during the _Yiron kom Givnes,_ and the fertilizer that we made from bones that nourished the plants, we were able to survive an extra year.”

“But everything was good when you got here to the valley?”

“Not immediately. We still needed to sow and plant enough for over a thousand people in this valley. That which could be found and caught wild only went so far. But everyone got to work as soon as we arrived, so it was only a few months until fields started producing enough to sustain us.”

“Did you work in the fields?”

“Sometimes. But in those early months, my more important job was combing the forests to find the Nightblood child who had survived Praimfaya, living here in this valley alone, who was leaving traps for the prisoners. She was a threat to our peace.”

“Did you find her?”

“We’re sitting in her home right now, so I would say so.”

_“Heda_ was that child?”

“She was. I brought her back into civilization. For a long time she only trusted me and Lincoln. She helped me a lot too, especially in that first year.”

“How?”

“My first pregnancy was difficult. We were all still malnourished when we got out of the bunker, and I was a bit too hasty with getting my birth control implant removed. I didn’t think I’d get pregnant so quickly. But then you were born, and all of the pain and all of the difficulties were worth it.”

“Why did you name me after your mother?”

“A way to honour her sacrifice. She died because I lived.”

“Luna is named after Dad’s friend, but Astraea and Apollon are not named after anyone. Why?”

“Apollon’s middle name is Marcus, for my father. Astraea’s middle name is Shakti, for Lincoln’s mother. All of your first names have a theme.”

“What is it?”

“The mythology that my brother read to me when I was a child, and the cosmic powers. The four of you are my sun, moon and stars. Apollon’s name is from the Greek god of the sun. Luna is the Roman goddess of the moon. Aurora was the star of the dawn in Roman mythology, and Astraea was a star of the night in Greek mythology.”

“What’s my middle name?”

“Hope. Which is what you and all of the first children born represented to us. Hope for a future for our people.”

“Were there a lot of kids born in those first years?”

“Almost a hundred.”

“That’s a lot. There aren’t even a hundred people in Wodsto.”

“Vero has about five hundred people, over half of them children. Families are having a lot of kids. It wasn’t something possible while we were in the bunker, so everyone’s been making up for lost time.”

“Living down there must have been awful.”

“It was. I give thanks every day that we got out of there. That we found this valley. That you children are growing up in a very different world. That _Heda_ won’t have to make the kinds of decisions that I had to. Because I don’t wish the decisions I’ve had to make on anyone, I hope you understand that. I want you to understand that more than anything else.”

“You trained _Heda?_ Taught her what she knows?”

“Gaia and I did, yes.”

“Did she battle you to take leadership? That’s what they say in Wodsto.”

“No. We had been teaching her for four years when the time was right. The Shrine was almost completed and I had been leading Wonkru for fifteen years. So when the Shrine was ready, Madi ascended as _Heda,_ and made _Jovakepa_ into the spiritual leader of Wonkru. That was three years ago, and my responsibilities have been to the Shrine of the _Newana_ ever since.”

“You don’t miss having that power? If you did, you could have struck Mom down for taking me instead of agreeing to her serving in the Shrine instead and no one could have argued differently.”

“I don’t miss the power. And that’s not how we do things anymore. Those were the old ways before Praimfaya, not how we live now. Justice is about reconciliation, not vengeance.”

“You really believe that.”

“I do. Remember what Arabel said yesterday at the Shrine. That she should have left the past in the past and not made you pay the price of it.”

“I remember.”

“Can you believe it? Can you believe in reconciliation?”

Mora worried her lips between her teeth as Octavia held her breath, waiting for an answer.

“I can.” Mora finally said. “I… I don’t know what you’ll walk into in Wodsto or the other villages. But I understand that you want to bring peace into their hearts. I understand that you had to make difficult decisions for our people’s survival that you would have rather not. I know that remembering those who died so that we could live is a responsibility you don’t neglect.”

Octavia released the breath she was holding, some measure of relief settling in.

Mora continued. “But I don’t understand where I fit in all of it.”

“You’re my child.” Octavia said simply. “That’s where you fit in. Along with Astraea, Luna and Apollon. You all are why we kept fighting to survive, why we sacrificed so much. So that you could be here, so that you could exist. Remembrance and reconciliation is my duty, it doesn’t have to be yours unless you want it to be. You can just be a kid. Go to school, play with friends.”

“You won’t be mad if that’s all that I want to do?”

“Of course not. Being my child doesn’t come with any strings. All I want for any of you is to be able to live in peace. To grow up, fall in love if you want to, build a life. Understand where you came from and how you’re here, but it doesn’t have to be anything more than that.”

“Okay… Mama.”

Octavia’s eyes widened in shock at the name. “Thank you.”

“I’ll still have questions. And I’ll want to visit Mom at the Shrine. But when it’s time I’ll be ready to go home with you and Dad and meet my brother and sisters and go to school and… live, I guess.”

“Whenever you’re ready, we’ll be ready.”

Mora looked at Octavia expectantly across the space that separated them, but Octavia wasn’t sure what she was waiting for, and didn’t want to make any assumptions.

“You can hug me now, Mama. I’d get up myself, but this leg, you know how it is…”

Octavia didn’t need to be told twice. She instantly forgave the preteen snark and crossed the space between them, sitting down next to her daughter and giving her a careful hug, avoiding her broken leg, heart overflowing with joy when Mora hugged her back.

Their family would be whole again.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Ever Dream" and "Wish I Had an Angel" by Nightwish.
> 
> Those looking for the death spoilers: Clarke is dead. She died in Praimfaya sending the rocket back to space because she did not have Nightblood. Kane is also dead like in canon, however here he sacrificed himself during the _Yiron kom Givnes_ (this 'verse's version of the Dark Year) so that Wonkru could live.


End file.
